Be The Change
Monday, January 23, 2012 at 10:51AM An eccentric old seamstress in a far off village is seen one day out in the street frantically looking for her sewing needle. The neighbors come to help her, and ask where she dropped it. “Inside my hut,” she replied. Puzzled, the neighbors ask her why, then, is she searching out in the street. “There’s more light out here,” she replied.
This story highlights for me how easy it is to tell others to take care of themselves, and how difficult it can be to do that work myself. As a yoga instructor, for example, I often encourage others to rest; it’s harder to get myself to unleash from my busy mind and lie down on my own couch. I see many parents who will go to the ends of the earth to make their children comfortable, while ignoring their own needs. Unfortunately, children learn more from what we do than what we say. Children are more likely to grow up repeating our patterns of behavior, even if we tell them to ‘do as I say, not as I do.’
I believe that our most powerful acts of caring for the world are the examples we set in how we treat ourselves as well as others. As the great Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” This is true whether you are a teacher, a social worker, a doctor, a parent, a janitor… no matter what line of work you find yourself in, the choices you make personally have a great impact on those around you.
I’m learning that my words have more power when I live what I’m teaching. This is not as easy as it may sound! One of the hardest parts of life’s journey for me has been stepping up to the plate of loving myself with all the fullness of my heart. For some reason this process is terrifying as much as it is gratifying. It requires me to face an exhilarating yet sometimes almost smothering sense of vast personal responsibility. It forces me to outgrow the old messages I’ve bought into all my life about my own insufficiency, to move into the unfamiliar zone of taking the risk to believe in the inner light that we all have. This light is in me as much as it is in anyone else I want to care for, but as the seamstress story makes clear, most people have a harder time turning inward and recognizing it. We tend to treat ourselves in ways we would never subject anyone else to.
One thing I’ve been working with in my efforts to live what I want to teach is the way I talk to myself. When I make a simple mistake, when I’m tired and I drop something for example, I can hear this Charlie Brown inner voice screaming at me, “You always screw everything up!” My mind can really be quite cruel in the messages I hear.
It is possible to transform whatever negative messages you hear in your mind by shifting into ‘witnessing’ mode: observe the thoughts as if they’re written on a billboard somewhere. Then separate your sense of self from these deprecating thoughts, replacing them with a mantra like, “Treating myself as precious makes me strong.”
Reader Comments (1)
Lauren, your words are always wise. You are a true inspiration to those who know you. It is true, we can be toughest on ourselves. I am guilty myself and do not make enough time to say " it"s ok. " You deserve to love yourself in the same ways you show love to all of us.